A new perspective on stress and resilience
Burnout crept up on me unnoticed
Burnout is a term we’ve all heard. For many, it’s something they’ve experienced firsthand, whether they recognised it at the time or not. My own journey with burnout began when I was 25, working in a fast-paced, high-pressure sales role in the pharmaceutical industry. I had been with the company for three years, quickly promoted to senior management. On paper, it was a dream job, and for a while, I was absolutely loving life.
But burnout crept up on me unnoticed, until one day I crashed. I was in the Midlands office, feeling unusually nervous and shaky. My thoughts felt scattered and incoherent, and in a surreal moment, I distinctly remember thinking, “I don’t want to be a snail.” It was a frightening experience. Somehow, I managed to drive home and was signed off work indefinitely. That was the beginning of my journey with burnout—a disorienting, humbling experience that left me questioning my abilities and wondering how I had missed the warning signs.
Why did burnout catch me off guard?
Looking back, there were several contributing factors. First, the role didn’t align with my values. It was a cutthroat, high-pressure environment, and I’ve always been more people focused. I also wasn’t self-aware enough to recognise when I was pushing too hard. I lacked tools to manage stress and assumed my struggle was incompetence. I wasn’t taking care of my body, which compounded the stress. Then, there was imposter syndrome—earning three times what my peers did, I constantly felt like a fraud.
After burnout, I switched to part-time work for over 20 years, believing I wasn’t resilient enough for full-time. In hindsight, that crisis became an opportunity. I resolved never to stay in a job misaligned with my values, learned to listen to my body, and became brave enough to walk away when things didn’t feel right.
Why do we frame burnout incorrectly?
When we talk about burnout, it’s often framed as something that happens when stress overwhelms us, and that stress is inherently bad. But stress, in moderate amounts, is crucial for our survival. It triggers the “fight-or-flight” response, which helped our ancestors survive. In small doses, stress can actually improve focus, energy, and performance, like when we’re meeting a deadline or handling emergencies.
The issue arises when we remain in a constant state of stress, letting the amygdala, the emotional part of the brain, take over. This puts us in reactive mode, driven by fear and anxiety. However, by engaging the prefrontal cortex—responsible for decision-making and emotional regulation—we can transform stress into a growth tool, rather than letting it drag us into burnout.
Techniques like mindfulness, deep breathing, and cognitive reframing can help us stay calm and use stress productively. For more on managing your mind, I highly recommend The Chimp Paradox by Dr. Steve Peters.
The role of reframing and resilience
Burnout doesn’t affect everyone the same way. Take my best friend, for example. During the pandemic, she lost both of her parents within four months, dealt with her own health issues, and faced challenges with her teenage son, all while maintaining a demanding career. Despite these enormous pressures, she never seemed to burn out. Of course, she took time off work and found the period difficult, but she was able to bounce back each time.
When I asked her how she managed to avoid burnout, she couldn’t pinpoint an answer. But from my perspective, it was clear that she had a unique ability to reframe situations. She consistently found a way to view challenges as manageable, always seeking the positive in every situation. This, combined with her resilience, allowed her to cope with stress in a way that many—including myself—couldn’t.
Reframing stress and adversity isn’t about sugar-coating things or ignoring reality. It’s about choosing how you interpret challenges. When you can view obstacles as opportunities for growth rather than threats, you’re more likely to maintain resilience and avoid burnout.
Building resilience: A skill, not a trait
Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back from adversity; it’s about knowing your limits, recognising when you need to step back, and having strategies in place to prevent burnout in the first place. This includes both external stressors, like job changes or budget cuts, and internal stressors, like the negative stories we tell ourselves.
The good news is that resilience can be learned. Thanks to neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to rewire itself—we can develop new habits and ways of thinking that make us more resilient. The more we practice reframing stressful situations and quieting negative self-talk, the more automatic these responses become.
For those of you who have been on the Crossing Thresholds journey, cast your minds back to Module 1, where we explored the importance of being completely honest with yourself about what you want. This honesty is key to building resilience. For me, the Thresholds way captured the essence of developing resilience to guard against stress and burnout.
About the Author
Kate Oately is an ILM qualified coach and mentor and Insights Discovery practitioner. Kate works for the MoD as well as running Kate Oatley Coaching and has 20+ years of varied coaching experience.
You can watch Kate’s recent session for Thresholds on Managing Burnout below.
