Creating a life that you don't need a break from

The average person spends about one-third of their life at work. Eek, I know! So, logically this is a good place to start. If you can find work that energises you and aligns with your core values, you’re on the way to a fulfilling life. 

What would you be doing if you removed expectations? Or if you weren’t so worried about what’s expected of you or about maximising your potential?

Take some time to reflect on your core values: what is most important to you? Core values might include things like integrity, creativity, community, honesty, or growth. When you understand these fundamental aspects of yourself you can start to make intentional choices – and that ultimately leads to a more satisfying and energising work life. 

I stayed stuck in a career for a long time because trying something new felt scary and unknown. But when I reflected and was brutally honest with myself, I realised it didn't align with my values of loyalty, creativity and honesty. I gave a lot of time and energy to my job over the years, but when I needed support, sadly it wasn't there. My new and innovate ideas were often stifled, knocked back or tangled in red tape. Then the culture that preached work-life balance didn't, in reality, practice it. Was it in line with my core values? Definitely not. When I looked at it from this angle, it was no wonder I wasn't feeling fulfilled!
 

What brings you happiness and satisfaction? Is it helping others, solving problems, creating something new, or working collaboratively? 

Think about the activities or topics you are genuinely passionate about. What excites you and captures your interest?
Understanding what makes you happy can guide you towards work that is both energising and fulfilling. When you find work that aligns with your passions and interests it can certainly make your professional life more engaging and enjoyable. But, with 168 hours in a week, even if integrating your passions into your job isn’t possible, there should be ways you can incorporate them into your life overall.

Supporting women and girls is a passion of mine, and I also love being active and taking on challenges. So, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro on International Women’s Day with an all-woman team was a perfect passion project! But even while I was working in the Civil Service in roles not particularly aligned with my interests, I volunteered with organisations like The Girls Network and Smart Works charities. This gave me a sense of achievement and fulfilment.

How can you get more of the things that you are interested in into your life?

Think about your long-term goals and where you want to be in the future. It’s okay if things don’t happen overnight- I started to set these big goals back in 2015-16, and it took me six years to fully bring my plans to life.

Goals are what give us direction and purpose, and there’s nothing like the feeling of ticking them off. I’ve noticed many women hesitate to write down their goals because they’re unsure if they’re achievable, realistic or possible. But here’s the thing: you don’t need to know exactly how you’re going to achieve it. And who is to say what’s realistic or possible! You just need to know that you want it. The rest will become clearer as you go along.

I found that breaking down my long-term goals into smaller, manageable steps really helped. Then I created a plan to work on them bit by bit. Do your research, reach out to people who have walked the path you’re aiming for, and remember: if you really want it, you’ll find a way.

Once you’re clear on your values, passions, and goals, you can start making choices that truly align with who you are. Seek out work environments and roles that reflect these elements. If your current situation isn’t meeting these criteria, what small tweaks and changes could start to move you towards your goal? Outside of work, think about how you can reshape your daily routine. For instance, I love being outdoors but had a demanding job, so I started doing walking one-to-ones with my team. It’s amazing how a bit of creativity can make a big difference.

And don’t wait for everything to be perfect. Taking action, even if it’s a bit messy or not fully planned out, is often the best way forward. From my experience, it’s the aligned actions, however imperfect, that can really make a difference.

As women, we often feel the need to have the perfect plan before taking any action. We think, "I need to learn more, take one more course, or get a few more years of experience." But sometimes, you just need to stop worrying about the “what ifs” and finally say yes to what you’ve been putting off.

This doesn’t mean you should skip research or stop growing. Embrace a growth mindset and keep seeking opportunities for learning and development. But it’s the willingness to start, even if things aren’t perfect, that often leads to the most rewarding outcomes.

Taking care of yourself isn’t just a luxury; it’s essential for protecting your energy. Engage in activities that recharge you physically, mentally, and emotionally. For me, this means exercise, yoga, meditation and regularly connecting with my friends. But I also know how important it is for me to have some time alone to decompress when I have spent a lot of time around others. I always, without exception, make time for myself – it’s not only essential for my energy and mental wellbeing but for those around me, trust me! 

What recharges you? It could be anything from reading and spending time with loved ones to pursuing creative hobbies, singing, or enjoying quiet moments alone. As women, we often think that self-care is selfish, but it’s not. It’s necessary for your overall well-being. Alongside self-care, part of protecting your energy involves setting healthy boundaries - both at work and in your personal life. 

Do you know where your boundaries are? It’s important to learn to say no to things that don’t align with your priorities and values. This way, you ensure that your time and energy are spent on what truly matters to you.

Humans are deeply social creatures, and meaningful connections are crucial. You know those people who make you feel good just by being around them? And then there are others who seem to drain your energy. I’ve heard them called energy radiators and vacuums. And I’ve found this to be true. So, it’s important to be mindful of who you spend your time with.

Surround yourself with supportive and like-minded individuals who uplift and inspire you. At the same time, connecting with people who have different perspectives can be enriching and thought-provoking. When approached constructively, these interactions can also be energising. These connections might come from colleagues, friends, family, or mentors. 

Do you have a community that shares your values and aspirations? Building these meaningful relationships provides a sense of belonging and can offer valuable support, encouragement, and collaboration. For me, developing meaningful connections is an ongoing effort, especially as a solo traveller. I’ve had to get creative to stay in touch with friends back home through regular zoom calls and WhatsApp groups. I also try to meet new people and build friendships wherever I go. This gets harder as you get older, but I find that connections are a vital part of my journey and can significantly contribute to my sense of fulfilment.